the older I get, the more I realize the less people talk about the “touchy topics.” yes, the news shows the bad stuff going on in the world, but I’m talking about the conversations we all dread, the ones we know we are going to disagree about and want to avoid, the subjects that can make a person angry, i.e. sex trafficking, rape, racism, wars, child labor, and feminism – all the things that make it quite obvious that we live in a broken, sinful world.
maybe it’s my personality, maybe it’s a mindset, but I think our world might look a little different if we decided to stop hiding from the things we feel uncomfortable talking about because somebody might have a different opinion than us. personally, I think it would be a boring world if we all agreed on everything anyway – imagine that. we would basically be robots. but if you think a little harder, we pretty much already are. we walk around with our phones in our hands, posting pointless memes about who knows what. don’t get me wrong I love memes, but what would happen if we were to post about the things that should matter, like injustice and the pain in the world. yes, there’s a chance that somebody will disagree with you. more like a 100% chance one person will disagree with you, but that is how you learn and teach to and from each other. that’s building relationships.
I have multiple friends whom I don’t agree with on a variety of things, maybe it’s being some are Christian and some are not, maybe it’s being some are African American and some are not, maybe it’s being some think opposite of me or were raised up differently than me – either way, we listen. we hear one another’s ideas, pains, and thoughts on how the world is structured today and how we hope it will be one day.
I am a 23-year-old white Christian woman, currently living in Uganda, but originally from the US, more specifically the most southern place possible – Texas. I don’t find it a coincidence at all that God planted me there in the first place, I don’t fit into the box of what I should believe or act like or even do. I am far outside the box and I take pride in that. I am pro-life, I support the Black Lives Matter movement, I have 7 tattoos and I’m planning on getting more, I am a missionary, I don’t care about guns, I am charismatic and what people would call different, I am single at the age of 23 (and probably until I’m 24 or 25, at least), I graduated with a business degree – which after thinking about it, the majority of my business classes were filled with men, not women – and now, I have come to realize that I am a feminist.
feminist. what a word.
I’m sure by this point, you are probably getting where I am going with this. I promise it will be worth it, so just stick with me.
Simply put, the word feminist has always seemed to have a negative connotation to me. When I used to hear the word ‘feminist,’ I immediately thought of women running or marching around with signs saying “I hate men,” or chanting about wanting to have power OVER men, rather than equal to men. I think of women screaming Beyonce’s “who runs the world? Girls” and that just never sat well with me. don’t get me wrong, I love Beyonce but that’s just a bit excessive – don’t you think?
but the reality is – men run the world. even with 52% of the world’s population being women, the men have authority and power over almost all occupations and professions. The men are in this case, “the top dogs.”
it wasn’t until yesterday when I watched Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s Ted talk from December of 2012 called “We Should All Be Feminists,” that I finally had a different view of the word and what it SHOULD mean for women and men, and gender in general.
feminist, by definition, means a person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of sexes. Adichie’s definition of feminism though is a bit different, she explains in her ted talk and book (which I bought yesterday as well and read it in like an hour – highly recommend), “My definition of a feminist is a man or a woman who says, ‘Yes, there’s a problem with gender as it is today and we must fix it, we must do better.’ All of us, women and men, must do better.”
it’s not just about women. it’s so much more than that. it’s about males and females being able to see that there is a problem and not wanting to watch it stay the same. it’s about wanting more for the generations to come – yes, we, as women, have come far. we are engineers. we are authors. we are pilots. we are doctors. we are business women. we are astronauts. but we are so much more than that.
God intended more for His daughters.
since I brought up being a Christian, I think it’s important to make myself very clear, although I know I don’t need to validate my beliefs for anybody – I believe that men and women have their own roles, God specifically made each gender perfectly in His image for His Kingdom; but I also believe that God wants men to respect women, not degrade them. I believe God wants His daughters to feel confident of who they are and what they want to do with their lives, not ashamed of it. I believe God does not want women, or anybody for that matter, to feel oppressed or pushed to fit into a stereotype that was formed years ago. yes, I’m talking about the “domestic woman.” I believe God wants me, and ALL women, to feel powerful and wants us to succeed in whatever it is we want to do. My Father believes in me the same way He believes in my brothers. I don’t believe that I should be over men and I most certainly don’t want to intimidate men, I just want to be respected. not babied or have opportunities taken away because they might be “too hard” for me. I don’t believe that I am better or more worthy because I am a woman. I don’t think that is honoring of either gender.
I love men, I mean I would love to get married in the future, and it would definitely make it hard if I hated them. there will certainly be things that I just won’t be able to do because of lack of height, strength or interest, or in some cases just don’t want to do. for example, I really hate changing the oil in my car, checking fluids, or using jumper cables when the battery dies – yes, my dad taught me when I was in high school and sadly, it always becomes surprising to the men I encounter when I know a thing or two about my car – but I would rather have someone else do it, male or female. I don’t care, just not me.
I love being a woman and I am proud of all I, personally, have accomplished in such a short amount of life. I graduated college with a bachelor’s degree in business. I moved across the globe, by myself. I plan on writing a best seller, maybe even two. but I believe that there is a type of power that appears when men honor and respect women, and even encourage them. mountains are moved, stereotypes crumble and the king of this world shakes in worry because His sons are empowering His daughters, the same exact way our Dad is empowering each of us in our own ways. it’s not about power or ruling over one another, it’s about standing beside each other choosing to cheer each other on from the side lines. it’s about saying, “I believe in you and I will push you till you accomplish this goal, no matter how long it may take or how many people will try to bring you down. I will continue to lift you up.”
In Adichie’s talk, she brings up culture and I quote, “Culture does not make people. People make culture. If it is true that the full humanity of women is not our culture, then we can and we must make it our culture.”
one of my prayers the past 3 years has been to be a culture changer, to bring a little sliver of Heaven wherever I go. to make a difference in the way people think. to make it a point that I will stand with the oppressed, even when I don’t feel powerless. I will stand with the voiceless, even when I don’t feel silenced.
it shouldn’t matter if you are the one being oppressed or silenced. the fact that somebody does should make you want to help. women aren’t crying for power when they say they support the women’s movement, just like African Americans aren’t crying for attention when they say they support Black Lives Matter – they are crying for equality, justice and respect, the things in which they deserve.
so women, stand up for yourself. stand up for your female friends. you all deserve to be heard. seen. believed in. you are worthy.
and men, be the man who believes in women. be the one who corrects other men’s degrading comments or unjust choices based upon gender. be the person who praises a woman for her accomplishments, make her feel seen and listen when she speaks. don’t you want a woman who believes in you? cheers you on? makes you feel powerful and capable to do anything? what makes you think a woman doesn’t want the same?
I would highly encourage you to be open-minded and listen to Adichie’s ted talk at some point today and then let me know what you think – I want to hear your thoughts and opinions, but what I don’t want to hear is your slandering of my opinions. there is absolutely nothing wrong with disagreeing, I think discussion is how we help each other grow but putting somebody down because of what they believe in is not what our humanity is about.
so, I will leave the link at the bottom of this page. feel free to click on it and either email me, Facebook message me, or DM me on Instagram.
https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_ngozi_adichie_we_should_all_be_feminists?language=en